California – of course it all starts there – is putting in a new law that couples can’t share the same residence and claim to be separated for the year they, and many other states, require before granting a divorce. That’s a good thing, because it pushes people to decide what they really want. Such clarity, although painful in the beginning, is ultimately easier on them, the kids, and all involved.
You’re thinking, Right, what a lot of hassle to find a new place, to have to pay part (or all) of two places, then there is getting the kids back and forth between your residences. Well, you can curse me now, but I’ve been in this business a long time, and I’ve seen again and again that if a couple isn’t willing to physically separate shortly after they declare a separation, one (or both) of them isn’t serious about being willing to get on with a new life.
Do you really want to dilly dally around for a year to be right back where you started? Here is a time to Put on Your Big Boy Pants and move forward. Remember you don’t have to macho it out and do this alone. Find a support group for divorced guys, or at least hang out with some divorced guy friends, maybe even a woman friend who has been divorced a while can help. Steer clear of women recently divorced; they will leak their resentment all over you. Just what you don’t need.